Relation- Ship

Relation- Ship

Board it Carefully!!

We have heard a zillion times that "love is blind". I say Love is deaf, blind, dumb, and makes you stupid as well. (no offense, but that is the fact) Think about it; Love makes you do and feel things that we do not feel or do in our normal circumstances. Bollywood movies also have a huge contribution towards it. Since I was a kid I have been watching all these masala love movies. These movies have filled us with this notion and presumption about how a romantic or love life should be; things like true love doesn't need money, love is enough!! really!!?? what will you do when you feel cold, hungry and want to get clothes to cover your body?? if Love is your answer then God bless you my child you need help!!. We grow up with a hope that someday, someway a Rajkumar will come on a horse and take you away and there will be "Happily Ever After". sounds soo dreamy and wonderful, isn't it?? Well nobody tells us the story after that how the Happily Ever After will be??, the actual REALITY check. Some movies do show that but either its ends with death or again happily ever after. The moral of the story is STOP watching romantic masala movies they literally don't make any sense.

Romance and Love is a very personal thing and differs from individual to individual. Understanding each other's needs and choices is very important. Most of the breakups in relationships are due to a lack of understanding between the couple. We are so eager to have our own romantic Bollywood movie that we don't pay attention to things that matter the most. Every step matters, either small or big, but it matters. So come out of your Ishq Wala love bubble and get into some reality checks in life. Like...

1.Become best friends:

Before being a couple try to be best friends with each other. We find comfort, trust, and understanding in a friend. Sharing things with a friend without being judged and with the assurance that they will be there with you for better or for worse is a bond we all want in life. Finding that friend in your partner is like hitting a jackpot.

2. Pause, think, breath during an argument or fight:

It's important to learn the art of pause, think and breathe during a situation. If you follow the first step of being friends, this does come naturally as you try to understand the situation and the person rather than getting offended and arguing back. Instead of reacting to the situation, talk about it when you are calm and in a state to discuss.

Once you understand a person emotionally, learning about their physical needs is also plays a vital role. most of the time we ignore the physical aspect of a relationship.

4. What values you share:

Every individual carries their values which are created over time in life. Find out each other like his/her opinion on gender equality, freedom, individuality, loyalty, integrity, and adjustment. As later after marriage these might create a problem and end up in couples drifting away.

5. Know each other's strengths and weakness:

Open communication is the key to a good relationship. Sharing your strength is easy but sharing your weaknesses is something we all need to get comfortable with, sharing it with your partner and helping them to open up and share it with you is a beautiful experience and will help you in a long run as well.

6. Know each other's love language:

Love has different meanings for different people and so is their love language. Some prefer to show it out loud with big gestures and showering with gifts, some prefer showing in small small gestures like washing the dishes, making a cup of coffee. So it is important to discuss what is one's love language if one likes to receive constant reminders of love by saying I love you and the other prefers to express through gestures then there can be a bit of misunderstanding. So it's always advisable to find out what is your partner's love language to avoid further disappointments.

7. Talk about relationship goals:

Relationship goals are as important as values. Trust, understanding, love, and faith are some keys to a successful relationship. find out if these are there in your partnership. These values and relationship goals should be strong enough to stand strong during odd times.

8. Monetary clarity is crucial:

There is no importance of money in love sounds good in movie dialogues but not in reality. Money is important to survive and live. Discussing the financial plans, savings, investments, contributions by both the individuals into this plan, etc can be of great help in your journey together. Finding out if your partner is ready to be there with you during the tough times as well.

9. Family and parenting goals:

Everybody wants their family to grow, but are you ready for that growth? Many times we have seen that one of the partners won't be ready for this kind of commitment due to various reasons like work, finance, undesirable pregnancy, and many other factors. Having babies is good, but the correct time and planning need discussions.

10. Plan your career together:

We all have certain goals and career plans in life. Discuss it with each other so you can help and support each other to grow. Manier times it is seen that after marriage one has to give up on their dreams and career due to family responsibilities, if these things can be discussed before it gives you much-needed direction and clarity for your future.

11. Giving space to each other:

Defining your space is critical in setting realistic expectations for both partners to meet. If you don't define the space needed, you might end up having misunderstandings. Every person needs their own space and time to gather their thoughts and emotions, which can be done in different ways like reading a book, going out with friends, doing what they love to do like a hobby. One of the best ways that you can create space is to be encouraging of the other person wanting it. We know that this can be hard – since creating space can feel like you are pushing them away/being pushed away. But trust me on this one.

The gist of the whole story is :

Respect,Trust,Faith,Friendship,honesty,Understanding,Open Communication and Support are the Key to a Strong and Happy Relationship. I hope and wish you meet your true Love soulmate with whom you can share such a bond.

Love and Light

Ela Tyagi